Monday, 2 November 2009

Panaromic Pictures

just thought of uploading some pix i took from the office balcony..
why do i always have to have a picture taken from every office i work in ,i wonder!



Saturday, 17 October 2009

A Pessimist No More!


image above is courtesy of migreyes.com
After four months of unemployment and two months of hibernation, am finally back on track
,or so i keep telling myself!

I finally managed to get a job..and will try to hold on to it a little longer this time.
I also got myself a car; a little picanto, so i guess so far so good!
My only concern though is trying not to go back to that depression phase again.. since it seems to get me ages to snap out of it..
So am gonna try this widely embraced concept.. called optimism .. and be one of those people who are just happy and hopeful for no apparent reason.

Doesn’t sound like me at all..but pessimism clearly didn’t do me much good anyway.
Only problem is.. I don’t like happy people.. and as far as I know, not a lot of people like them either (regardless of what people say).. they make the rest of us “unhappy people”, feel like losers, like there is something we are doing wrong..we just can’t put our hands on it.
So if turning into a too-thrilled-to-be-alive person doesn’t make me suicidal or send the assassins after me.. then it’s all good.


my car!

**An Update: Right after deciding to be the happy butterfly, that i know exists deep DEEP down inside, i went down with a minor infection in my kidney..right after it, Malaria which i recovered from only yesterday.. then TODAY.. i got into my 1st car accident and now my brand new car is wrecked!

Now, if am allowed to be my old cynical self for a moment, i would blame it all on my blind optimism and decide that pessimism wasn't too bad afterall,
but a brand new me would put all that behind her back, take the car to be fixed, take the bus to work.. and pretends to laugh the whole thing off.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

On Hibernation

i haven't blogged in a while.. i guess the fact of nothing going my way for the longest time finally got to me.
i don't have anything positive to blog about..and i think am wearing everyone thin (including myself) with my rants..

so when everything's going wrong.. a good idea would be to stay on hibernation mode, till i eventually snap out of it..and to take Ramadan as a chance for reflection.

So Ramadan Kareem everyone..may all our prayers be answered this month, and may we recieve God's forgivness.



*image courtesy of deviant art*

Thursday, 23 July 2009

Rashid Diab Centre

Last week, me and my friend decided to visit a number of galleries, so we'd stop complaining about not having enough places to go in Khartoum.
Our first stop was Rashid Diab's Centre, who is a well-known sudanese artist. he built this centre as his own studio, for teaching art, and for occasional seminars and gathering.
we walked into his centre.. to find Rashid Diab himself..wearing a jalabiya with unique green sewings on the sleeves, sitting infront of his iMAC which is a weird contrast to the traditional way the studio is built.
Ironically he was looking up some details on traditional architecture, so the minutes he found out that we are architects, he started discussing architecture with us, and showing us around his studio, which he designed himself, to show us how he managed to provide natural lighting and ventilation.
he was talking to us like we're old friends, and by the time we left his studio it occurred to me he didn't know our names, but that didn't stop him from asking me to come work with him on some artistic projects.
The 1st thing i worked on was this logo for this non-profit organization.. truth is, am not a logo-person, i actually hate everything that got anything to do with symbolism. so i came up with the ugliest logo there is. The problem is not that it’s ugly..the problem is that i designed it..
actually the only reason i got the nerves to sub such a hedious thing, was that the client loved it, and wanted just the way it is.
i half expected Rashid Diab to throw me out of his studio for presenting him with such work, but he didn't.. he just flipped the logo on the side, and said it looked like a bird, asked me to do a few adjustments, and voala! the logo was done.
This little flip made me realize the difference between an artist wannabe like myself and a famous artist like Rashid Diab.

















Monday, 13 July 2009

the unprofessional side of the profession

So, after 3days of fever and dehydration, which I mistook for malaria.. I went today to finally collect my money on this job I did 2 weeks ago
Judging by my previous experience with this office, and being familiar the normal trend here in Sudan, of being extremely mean when it’s time to get your money, I surely didn’t expect to be given the money with a smile, and I did expect some “negotiations” before they finally agree on giving me the money I asked for.
So I walked into the boss’s office, to what turned out to be one of the most unpleasant experiences I’ve encountered.
It all started out with him saying, that he evaluated my work and decided to give me 400 SD, which is exactly half what I asked for.
I casually reminded him that I didn’t just do the 3d rendering, but I also did the modeling, and changed the whole exterior of the building.
That one sentence was apparently enough for him, to end whatever “negotiation” I thought was gonna happen and turned it into one, long, painful lecture on work ethics.
Of course, assuming I have none!
I sat there dumbfounded, as he went on an on, about me being too young and greedy to think about the money, and that my “mentality” won’t get me anywhere in business, and that I should put into consideration that he is my teacher- he never taught me!- and on top of all of that, he totally took credit for my design, all my ideas are apparently his, he voiced them, and I just drafted them!
He seemed to have a pre-prepared lecture, and was answering to a dialogue in his head. Cause apparently he didn’t need me in this conversation.. for all this time I sat down and said nothing,-taken aback more than anything- so i was clueless to what his speech was based on.
So after he was done lecturing, and looking at me like am a bug to be crushed, I numbly stood up took whatever money he offered me and left.

Truth is, I’ve never been spoken to like that, but I know that common courtesy is not so common here. And this is how businesses are run in this country, so I would probably find myself in this kind of situation more often than I would like. But I wasn’t gonna go cry in the corner or anything, so later that day I went to another business appointment, with this interior design office I was supposed to be working in, to meet this client, which turned out to be one piece of work!
We all drove up to this apartment which seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. And when we reached there, the client simply opened the door to the apartment and stood there, with an expression on his face that says : "bored", at the very best!
He didn’t say anything, and any question we asked, was answered with the shortest answer possible.
And just when I was wondering to myself, why was he so quiet, he started talking.
And I’ve never worked harder in my life to fight back the urge to punch somebody. And I could sense that my two colleques felt the same urge, but I guess we all figured out that beating up our 1st client, might not be good for business. So we all drew this blank look on our faces, waited for him to finish a 20-minutes talk of pure B.S. to walk back to our car, and break down in laughter.
The man was hilarious, I don’t even know how to explain him in words, but it was like, u brought someone who works in a chocolate factory to discuss how to launch the latest cure for AIDS,
The dude was a business man, and according to him, had a lot of money, that he LOVED to brag about. And ”he doesn’t care what we do or how we do it, he just wants to know what we can do for him!”
As mambo jambo as that sounds!
He was really treating us like 3 plumbers he found on the side of the road, and brought down with him to fix this pipe that won’t stop leaking.
But of course, we agreed to do whatever he wants us to do, since after all we can’t choose our clients..but am hoping that maybe we can kill them, and hide the bodies..

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Random pix from sudan

a view from the office am working in ..





a more peaceful look of the capital



was walking over Mc Nimir bridge to fill an application form for a job.. and no they didn't call me yet!

Sunday, 5 July 2009

My own Business.

So yes.. am still settling..and been looking for a job.. so far i don't seem to find a 9 to 5 job or anything.. all i could find are little jobs, mostly 3d work.
which is much more flexible than having a full time job, and should be more financially rewarding, if you decided taking several jobs at the same time.
So am supposed to do the modelling,the rendering and eventually get paid for it,
or so is the plan,

didn't get a penny yet!

for some reason, here, it is very difficult to get people to pay you. Somehow, they seem to think of you asking for the money you deserve as inappropriate!
now, why is that? i will never know.
i thought maybe because young people here are expected to work for nothing..as if we just love doing all this hard work, as one big favor, for a boss who is as mean as hell.

So after subbing ma work two days ago, and still no sign of a penny coming my way,
i sat this morning, to draft a business plan..so i wouldn't have to rely on those old sharks throwing a couple of pounds at me, when they are feeling generous.
cause if am not getting any money anyway, then i really got nothing to lose..am thinking let's do something stupid like doing what i REALLY wanna do.
So yeah, the plan is to find someone who would pay me, for being the designer, the drafter, the boss, and my own admirer, why not!
So if my narcissist plan doesn't work, i will be back to working in stinking offices, with no pay, no respect, no appreciation, no nothing!



praying time!

Friday, 12 June 2009

Back To Sudan

So the wait is over.. I finally left Bahrain,, and now am in Sudan..
Having a fixed schedule in Bahrain; work, some more work, permanent seat in front of a computer screen.. and having absolutely no one to talk to.. except for the routine bits of conversations with ma father, that rarely change.. I longed to leave my abstract life behind, and was actually looking forward to come to Sudan and get a taste of the real world.
And the taste is bittersweet if you ask me.. cause in the real world.. u have to deal with people.. a whole lot of them! People you never met before, and have no desire to meet again. And with all those people, comes the drama. The so-not-necessary drama!
With the drama, comes the stress, and with the stress the migraines.. and with the migraines, the fact that am running out of my medicine which isn’t available in Sudan, so am on ma own..
Which of course isn’t that bad, but then again am ranting.. so there goes!
The 1st couple of days, there was a problem with the electricity.. and the power was off 23 hours aday..which could feel like u checked in a huge sauna to completely dehydrate yourself.
So I decided to start job hunting.. and I was sure am gonna get a decent job in any company I like.. since I have good experience in 3d max and such, which is a rare skill in Sudan. But of course getting what I want doesn’t sound like something that usually happens in my life. With another lesson in humility, I realized that the financial crisis is affecting Sudan as well, so there aren’t many jobs, especially for 3d visualizers, because 3d views is considered a needless and a way-too-expensive accessory. Hah!
I also discovered that I am a materialistic person.. and yes, am aware of how terrible that sounds!
I found myself set off, by not having my “stuff”; My cell phone,beause I didn’t get a number yet. Ma laptop, cause it’s still in Bahrain being fixed.. and not having a car, therefore having to rely on someone lending me one, or giving me a lift, which is a bit compromising to my pride.
One might think am being a certified drama queen here.. and I am.. because all this is not as bad as it sounds..
Actually I don’t regret coming to Sudan, and don’t miss leaving Bahrain for a second, at least not yet.
Cause I still manage to meet my friends, almost everyday, call them whenever I like, and have real-3d conversations with them..instead of little messenger chats supported with little emoticons..
So yeah .. I don’t miss my online life at all.. maybe except for my blog.. which I will try to visit every once in a while to publish a rant or two.

Monday, 18 May 2009

By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends


This really describes my day.
Today was supposed to go differently.. i was supposed to meet my deadline, submit my last two views. Therefore win my little prize for myself ; taking a well-deserved break, some time away from the computer and maybe continue packing.
but of course, none of that happened..
i submitted the views,they were accepted.. but my previous views -which were already approved- had some additional adjustments, the structures and the design of the interiors were adjusted,by the structural engineer, and of course those changes had to be shown in the views as well.
Which happens a lot in our business, but i still find this highly irritating, because when am done with a project, the final image is rendered, and it's finally approved by the designer and the client, my mind puts a tick on it, throws it in the room of "finished business" and closes the door.
So going back to that room, and digging that project again..to make changes to a perfectly good view.. is a waste of time, if you ask me.
Besides, the low energy i had the past few days, turned out to be a beginning of a soar throat. So here i am in ma cozy pink chair, with a back-ache from all the packing.. with a deadline ahead, and a cup of tea that i can't drink cause it hurts to swallow.
so yeah.. i guess in this kinda day.. if u're a remote that doesn't work, u'll get thrown across the room, if u're a dude on ma messenger list.. who keeps signing in and off every 2 minutes, u'll get urself blocked..and if you're a deadline i decided i already met, u will be ignored.
IMAGE ABOVE IS COURTESY OF Tarelkin

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Twix White chocolate


so Twix white chocolate is back!
and although am not a huge chocolate fan .. this is great GREAT news 4 me..simply put.. it is the best chocolate i ever tasted!
and it's limited edition this time too.. so when i found it.. i basically ran to it..with a crazy look on ma face.. maybe i was laughing to myself.. cause the woman next to me looked at me as if i was insane..
took 4 bars.. and went home..
instead of eating one aday.. i ate them all!
then went the following morning to the supermarket again to get another 4..
so 4 days later, am finally over ma twix white chocolate-craze.. but of course i feel n probably look like a hippopotamus..so yea.. i will start exercising again.. one of those days..